IN THE MIDST

its been a while hasn't it. my mind open to a selected range of people that are willing to take time to glance . so hows life? its pretty good says one. its pretty swell i must say. i get the grades i want, the friends that notice me, the parents that nurture and care, and the confidence i attain. who am i? an ordinary wallflower, static and without meaning, tapered on the wall, awaiting for anyone or thing to come and admire me. but i just blend in with the background. im no different than any other flowers on the wall, let alone comparable. for i have ripped petals and missing petals, dried leaves, stained from the environment. life is great you presume. yes it is. hey friend, im jealous of you. why cant we just swap lives one day. i would never give yours back. i would be so happy and be the perfect child. i promise. but wait, im me and youre you. im suppose to like who i am right? im different you say. but i beg to differ. im a ghost. i make my entrance but no one acknowledges. its all fun and games. then its goodbye and im swift away to my home. the fly on the wall that sees all but sits out and left to be. even maybe swatted. life is short. can you end mine for me please? death is ugly but everyone goes thru with it. can you just grant me my wish. im at a crossroad. can you guide me to the right path. or maybe ill pass this one and get hit by the car. its not like i want to get hit. i wave frantically to no avail. i signal the driver to stop. but does he care?  
the wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round,
the wheels on the bus go round and round, drive me over till i lie on the ground
throw me under the bus. i will mind. but im speechless, more like i cant speak.
hey, its dark baby. can you be my light. im scared. you dont have to if you dont want to. hey, its pouring right now. stand under the umbrella with me. no? dont worry bout it. no hard feelings. lets play hide and seek. ill hide you seek. hope you dont get tired from seeking forever. try and find but i guarantee you wont find me. i returned to the wall where i belong. row 8, 17th down. i will be lonely tho. can you still talk to me even tho we are so distant? dont let me down. tell me soon so i can give up hoping. im a planted seed. im not growing. i dont like myself. stomp on me please. ill tell you its okay. but who cares about the truth. its so buried in the soils. hi blog. been a while huh? long time no talk. please dont make me feel shitty. wait you cant! thnx for listening. i want to be me but its not that easy. why cant the one that i see be someone different. i rather be a wallflower. i wont be lonely with countless others surrounding me!