this week
i lost my stats book
i lost my roll of film
i lost my composure
i lost my friend's trust
i lost my friend
Monday, November 17, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
TURNING LEAVES
Looking back at my prior posts, I noticed how I used to apply ample time modifying and tweaking my post with snazzy artistic photos and clever titles to add an aesthetic feel to my entry. I also have reached a realization to how poor my grammar was and the lack of punctuation in my sentences. Maybe, I was heading for a sort of informal, colloquial feel to my writing but that would just come off as a pathetic excuse.
So, going with the seasons, Fall happens to be the time of change, when we wave goodbye to summer breeze, the warmth and ability to walk outside with a simple t-shirt and shorts, docked with some flip-flops. See an end to the surmounting heat from the UV rays that burn our skin cells and the cool machine-generated winds of the AC slipping through our vents. And as soon as we say our goodbyes, we are welcomed with the shift in climate as no longer are we able to enjoy the liberties of one layers and the lack of daylight thanks to our dear Ben Franklin and his more than applicable day-light saving. The leaves lose their healthy green in exchange for a crisp new red coat and the significant change in the return of prime-time television! As for me, I think looking into the future might just be a change that would fit this period. And in similarities, I do refer to how in both cases, neither seems to have a bright end until spring returns.
At times, I question my abilities and talents, the accomplishments I achieved in my seventeen years existing. My lack of security explains the hardships in completing a brag sheet, or a resume where I completely lack in pride or ability to boast righteously about myself. Instead, to avoid such deeds, I indulge myself with the usual YouTube searches, browsing of new music, tuning into the latest programs, and the latest dirt in pop culture; basically equating to a lifestyle of a vegetable.
Today, I snapped my first roll of film independently, all 24 pictures, disregarding one which I allowed my friend to take. It was quite satisfactory pretending to be all artsy fartsy during the time I strapped the SLR to my neck. From pictures of stairs to telephone wires, I was quite amazed at how indulging it was to see through the lens of a camera. I cannot say that the human eye is not already a phenomenal aspect but man, just looking through those fine lens is a quite a sight. At times, i felt foolish for squatting over like an old asian fob, trying to work the camera and other times, taking forever to adjust the f-stop and aperture to create the perfect shot.
But at last, none of these things seem to impact my life more than Blockles. It is my current joy and passion and as I am typing away, I am in the midst of a game of intense tetris where sabotage is not chastised and where conniving tactics results to victory. I only have the ability to write here due to my third place landing. Playing against siblings is probably never a smart thing to do.
So, going with the seasons, Fall happens to be the time of change, when we wave goodbye to summer breeze, the warmth and ability to walk outside with a simple t-shirt and shorts, docked with some flip-flops. See an end to the surmounting heat from the UV rays that burn our skin cells and the cool machine-generated winds of the AC slipping through our vents. And as soon as we say our goodbyes, we are welcomed with the shift in climate as no longer are we able to enjoy the liberties of one layers and the lack of daylight thanks to our dear Ben Franklin and his more than applicable day-light saving. The leaves lose their healthy green in exchange for a crisp new red coat and the significant change in the return of prime-time television! As for me, I think looking into the future might just be a change that would fit this period. And in similarities, I do refer to how in both cases, neither seems to have a bright end until spring returns.
At times, I question my abilities and talents, the accomplishments I achieved in my seventeen years existing. My lack of security explains the hardships in completing a brag sheet, or a resume where I completely lack in pride or ability to boast righteously about myself. Instead, to avoid such deeds, I indulge myself with the usual YouTube searches, browsing of new music, tuning into the latest programs, and the latest dirt in pop culture; basically equating to a lifestyle of a vegetable.
Today, I snapped my first roll of film independently, all 24 pictures, disregarding one which I allowed my friend to take. It was quite satisfactory pretending to be all artsy fartsy during the time I strapped the SLR to my neck. From pictures of stairs to telephone wires, I was quite amazed at how indulging it was to see through the lens of a camera. I cannot say that the human eye is not already a phenomenal aspect but man, just looking through those fine lens is a quite a sight. At times, i felt foolish for squatting over like an old asian fob, trying to work the camera and other times, taking forever to adjust the f-stop and aperture to create the perfect shot.
But at last, none of these things seem to impact my life more than Blockles. It is my current joy and passion and as I am typing away, I am in the midst of a game of intense tetris where sabotage is not chastised and where conniving tactics results to victory. I only have the ability to write here due to my third place landing. Playing against siblings is probably never a smart thing to do.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
AFTER THE RAIN
you know that feeling, when you have that lump in your throat, that pain in your stomach, and you want to let it out, but you dont know how to? and the only deed you can take is to let it release from your eyes, trying in vain to remove the thoughts and images responsible for your current status. and after youre done, nothing has changed, the problem is still unresolved, the anger is still in your eyes, the pain is still culminating within.
it rained last night. today, the clouds were scattered, the skies blue, the air an unprecedented clear, freshness. but that only undermines the black grey clouds that will soon appear, pouring down on the world and reestablishing the dull murky feel one attains from watching the raindrops splatter against the window. but for that brief time, when the skies are parted, when the clouds, their marshmellow fluff look, we beleive that something will be good of this day, not stopping to think to plan out the future. and before you know it, your day ends with thunder and lightning, a heavy storm blowing the trees left and right and shaking the house in all directions. its still a crappy day.
and then there's other days when you cast your eyes up above, watching the flock of geese migrate to warmer destinations. how free and uninhibited they seem, gliding in the skies that offer so many possibilities and endless unboundedness. we, as kids, always wanted the power of flight, to soar and be liberal. but thats childs thinking. we as humans, far too intelligent for our own selves always set goals that will never be accomplished, projects that will end up half finished, and ideas that lead to nowhere. we offer remedies as planes or sky scrapers to imitate the heights of flight, but in the end, its only a substitute. a cheap prototype of the real deal that can only be half assed.
but people rather see sunshine than gloomy overcasting clouds. no one likes to be showered upon by pouring rain, even under an umbrella. the cold damp feel may bring temporary satisfaction to some, splashing in the puddles and running wildly, soaking up their faces in a shortlived joy. then, they must face the outcomes of getting wet and cold, resulting in sickness, their soaked clothes hanging to dry, and the feeling of tissues against your wet nose. so in the end, rain is no good, sunshine is all we see. and that rainbow offers a promise. one that applies to each one of us, yet so easily disregarded. the sun, as we note, brings light, energy, and heat. so for all of us, lets reflect that shine, as superficial and unwanting it might be. its what the world wants to see. only what the world beleives is important.
it rained last night. today, the clouds were scattered, the skies blue, the air an unprecedented clear, freshness. but that only undermines the black grey clouds that will soon appear, pouring down on the world and reestablishing the dull murky feel one attains from watching the raindrops splatter against the window. but for that brief time, when the skies are parted, when the clouds, their marshmellow fluff look, we beleive that something will be good of this day, not stopping to think to plan out the future. and before you know it, your day ends with thunder and lightning, a heavy storm blowing the trees left and right and shaking the house in all directions. its still a crappy day.
and then there's other days when you cast your eyes up above, watching the flock of geese migrate to warmer destinations. how free and uninhibited they seem, gliding in the skies that offer so many possibilities and endless unboundedness. we, as kids, always wanted the power of flight, to soar and be liberal. but thats childs thinking. we as humans, far too intelligent for our own selves always set goals that will never be accomplished, projects that will end up half finished, and ideas that lead to nowhere. we offer remedies as planes or sky scrapers to imitate the heights of flight, but in the end, its only a substitute. a cheap prototype of the real deal that can only be half assed.
but people rather see sunshine than gloomy overcasting clouds. no one likes to be showered upon by pouring rain, even under an umbrella. the cold damp feel may bring temporary satisfaction to some, splashing in the puddles and running wildly, soaking up their faces in a shortlived joy. then, they must face the outcomes of getting wet and cold, resulting in sickness, their soaked clothes hanging to dry, and the feeling of tissues against your wet nose. so in the end, rain is no good, sunshine is all we see. and that rainbow offers a promise. one that applies to each one of us, yet so easily disregarded. the sun, as we note, brings light, energy, and heat. so for all of us, lets reflect that shine, as superficial and unwanting it might be. its what the world wants to see. only what the world beleives is important.
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